Name:Jason Country:United States State:Tennessee Metro:Knoxville Gender:Male
Interests:Travel. Movies. Caffiene. Drink and carousing. Music. Have I mentioned travel lately? Expertise:I am 'Good With People', and 'articulate and well-spoken'...
My expertise comes from being a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks, because, as Ben Franklin said: "A fool will learn from no other." Occupation:Customer service/support Industry:Retail
Sorry - needed a title, and thusly appropriated one from Bob Mould and Husker Du. A new day dawning. Combine that with 'Could you be the one?' and I sense once more the undercurrent of pining I feel.
Today was an amazing birthday. The earth has finished its jaunt around El Sol; a new year finds me with a new job, new money, new options, two amazing sons with a wonderful friend.
Today, everything seemed to fall into place. My sons, their mother, MY mother, and myself all ventured out for lunch at PF Chang's. We had a good lunch all in all; Juju slept, and Collier... well, I think he's overly alert like his father, and wants to be obtrusive and watch the world.
April and I stopped over for my next birfday treat: cupcakes from the Cupcakery. My favorite.
The rest of the day was rather blurry for me. It is a long story, but... I know we did all we could, and it all finally quieted down.
As usual, a muddled train of thoughts in my head. I was thinking of all the artificial destinations we create for ourselves, all of this sense that 'Once I reach this milestone, then X or Y will happen.' We tend to feel that, 'If I have this person's affection' or 'If I achieve this', that somehow those things are real, are stopping places where we can rest, can catch our breaths before we shoulder our heavy loads and move on again.
I thought about that while in the shower, thinking of how merely earning one person's affection, let's say, never really manifests the benefits we feel it should. Does it create a small amount of anxiety and disappointment? Probably. It's like the line from the Sandman: "The price of getting what we want is getting what we once wanted." To me, that means we never receive what we want in the present tense; for example, the girl you've always wanted to love you will only notice and fall for you when you've given up on that notion and moved on, or perhaps the dream job you want opens up, but only after it's been merged and changed and is not the dream job you wanted.
